Winds of Change

Wow it has been 6 months since I have blogged! That can mean many things and none of which would include my life is quiet. It is just so much has happened I am not sure where to start. But no time like the present to take time to sit down and jot some things down. At the very list I will have my own personal blog (journal) to look back on.

December 2010
Three weeks before the year was going to end news had come my way that indicated a big change in what I was used to. Let me back track a wee bit in hopes that you will understand better. June 2009 was the month that myself and Pam teamed up together in ministry as worship leaders. To make a very long story short; God brought us together to minister as a team. Prior to that time we knew of each other as we attended the same church but never once did it cross my mind that we would minister together until one day God laid it out before us and has since confirmed it many times over.

So the news that came was Pam was moving on to a new job as a secretary for a church and that church wanted to her attend there as part of her employment. Apparently this is common in churches for many reasons that likely make sense somehow.

You might be asking well how does this affect me? Great question! It affects me as we minister together. If she does not attend APC (my church) then we can't minister at APC (Alexis Park Church), it just doesn't work and leadership will never allow it to happen. So.....I know had to figure out what I was going to do. Was God going to have me stay at APC and have someone else play the piano for me. You see I sing and read music but I don't play an instrument that is suited for leading worship such as a piano or guitar. This is where Pam comes in on the ministry part....she plays the piano. She plays with passion and love for our King......it is the most beautiful sound I have heard!!

Ok back to my decision on what to do. I honestly can say I had no clue and I was very distressed about the whole thing. I felt as though I was loosing a dear friend in Pam and loosing a ministry that I thought for sure God had put together and I was positive this is where he wanted me to be....at APC. But all too soon none of the pieces of this puzzle were adding up. I was hurt, confused, mad, frustrated, lonely, numb and full of questions.

In early January I committed to stay on as worship leader until the end of April. I didn't want to leave APC in a pinch being short one worship leader and Pam agreed to stay on with me. So at least I knew what I was doing till the end of April or so I thought.

January 22:
I was preparing songs for an evening service we were having on Sunday night. After what seemed like endless pleas to God to give me direction on what I am to do; I received part of my answer on January 22. As I walked into the sanctuary that day I felt in my spirit God say 'this is no longer your church'. I was stunned! I have been there for 16+ years how could this no longer be my church?! But in the few minutes it took for me to realize what happened I all the sudden felt like a visitor in that church and I realized this is my release to move on. Move on to where though?? I had no clue. No answer. Still just questions.

I'll skip some minor details here.

February 21 was the day I met with Pastor Kempner, my pastor at APC to tell him I was leaving. However he already figured I was leaving because Pam was leaving. What he did not know or even yet understand today is the turmoil I was in when I had no clue what I was going to do. I want to never be outside of God's will for me and for quite sometime I was unsure what that will was going to look like. So if you are keeping up with me I have now had the release to leave my church of 16+ years and my pastor knows I will be leaving as of the end of April or earlier if he decides. But I still have no clue as to where.

March 21:
Pam has told me she has to attend where she works, no questions asked. I was surprised sort of but not really. I was hoping for something else but in the end God really does know best.....right?

There really isn't an end to write yet as this journey is still unfolding. There are a few things I know at least for now. April 10 is my last Sunday leading worship at APC. After that I will be attending Grace Bible Church but for how long am I not sure. You see not everyone in that church accepts the whole gospel of Jesus. But I do! I have ideas as to why God is calling Pam and I to that church and if I am right it will be a very humbling, exhilarating, wonderful, God filled experience!

I am hoping to be back on here soon to fill in some blanks that are still left. Like I said this is still all unfolding and I am excited to be on this journey even though there have already been times where I have faced pain and uncertainty. However I know that my Papa will lead me where I need to be as long as I listen to him.

Stay tuned.....